I know a lot of us have run the gamut from being disheartened to being completely gutted by the election results here in the U.S. The results have been shocking, as many of us thought our country was past the point of endorsing racism, xenophobia, sexism, and homophobia. Truthfully, I am still getting back to center after the news of Donald Trump’s win. It comes as a huge surprise to those of us who thought that we were moving in a direction of more inclusivity, equality, peace, and respect for others.
One of my teachers, Karey Thorne, asked a wonderful question in a training I was in this last weekend. She asked the group, “Can you trust that loving is unfolding even if it doesn’t look the way you thought it would?” Can we look deeply at the ways that this election might uncover and reveal even more loving in the country?
The truth is, the homophobia, racism, sexism, and xenophobia that we are now seeing rise to the surface has always been there. It has just been silenced. It isn’t new. What if, the hidden hate and contempt that has running like an undercurrent throughout the country can now be exposed and brought out into the light? What if the darkness is now surfacing to be met with the great loving that is working to transform this country?
I am using this whole experience as a way to open up my loving even more and to look at more of the places I’ve stayed in judgment and opposition. I’m using this as an opportunity to let go of my righteousness. And I’m getting plenty or chances to do so.
A week before the election, my boyfriend’s family announced they are coming to Santa Fe for Thanksgiving because they want to meet me. My boyfriend is a from a small town in rural Texas and is from a culture much different than my own. He shot his first deer as a child and played football all through high school, while my school didn’t even have a football team and I didn’t see an actual gun until I was 30. It is a culture I have not understood and even looked down upon before meeting him. I have been learning more and more about that culture.
This Thanksgiving, my family and myself will be welcoming his parents into our homes. We come from very different cultural and political backgrounds. While I could use this to distance myself from them, I am choosing to take the opposite approach. I want to get to know them, to feel their love for me and to love them back. I want to know what life has been like for them. I want to heal the ways inside of me that I have judged and othered people in the past. I want to heal on a micro level to help heal the macro. I want to create one small bridge to hopefully create larger bridges.
I am choosing to stay with the loving instead of my righteousness. Loving opens up dialogue, safety, healing and evolution. Blame, rejection, and yelling shuts it down. I will stay in my loving, honoring that everyone believes what they believe for a reason. I will seek to understand those reasons instead of assuming I know.
This is what I feel guided to do. What you feel guided to do may feel different. This is the time to get still, look inside, and listen for what you feel called to do. It may look like not saying much but holding a certain vibration inside of yourself. It may look like getting loud and making your voice and opinion heard. Trust what you feel guided to do.
If you are looking for ways to help heal this country and planet, I offer some ideas:
- Pray, meditate, hold the light. Though it may feel like you aren’t doing much, you are. Hold the light. For me this looks like chanting and seeing beautiful white light filling the entire world every time I feel a disturbance inside of me. I am steadfastly holding onto the light in my consciousness. I do this before going to sleep and whenever I wake up.
- Look at the ways you still hold judgment towards yourself or others. Forgive yourself. Use ho’oponopono. A friend of mine just started a 100 Days of Ho’oponopono challenge on Facebook that I recommend checking out.
- Get involved in any way you feel called to. This could be joining in protests, getting involved in the political system, starting a support group, sharing your story, or putting up a “Love Everyone” sign in your front yard. You don’t have to do it all. Do what you feel guided to do.
- Know that you do not have to tolerate abuse or witnessing people around you be abused. I am dedicated to staying in my loving, but I also know that if I witness any kind of abuse around me, I won’t be able to tolerate it. You can seek understanding and loving, and refuse to tolerate violence or abuse. These are not mutually exclusive. I will seek understanding, and also protect and fight for those who cannot fight for themselves.
Do what feels right for you. Love yourself so you can love others. Like my other beloved teacher, Robert Waterman says, “Love will have its way.”