Romantic relationships are a juicy and rich topic right now. As you may be experiencing, relationships are quickly changing. It seems as though even many of the most solid of couples are breaking up or reformulating their relationships. As consciousness changes, so do relationships. Given that at the current moment, consciousness seems to be skyrocketing, it is not wonder that relationships are facing challenges and with them, many opportunities.
In the old energy, we often came together based on old karma or disownment of our own aspects. When karma pulls two people together, it may feel as though two people have known each other before and are mysteriously pulled towards each other. These relationships are often fraught with difficulties and drama as two people try and rectify their past relationships and personal karma. These relationships can be draining and challenging until two people are able to come to a place of self-forgiveness in regards to all aspects of their relationship. At this point, the karma clears. These relationships offer a tremendous opportunity to heal old wounding.
Additionally, relationships may form because we have disowned aspects, or part, of ourselves that we need someone else to carry. In these relationships, we unconsciously ask our partners to hold parts of ourselves that we have either abandoned or feel we cannot hold ourselves. The classic example of this would be a relationship between a very traditionally feminine woman and masculine man such as marriages characterized in the hit TV show Mad Men. In these marriages, the women played a very submissive and passive role to their husbands who were active and charged with protecting the family. The feminine surrendered her masculine to the man and vice versa. Often, the feminine often gives her voice to the masculine and he in turn sacrifices his emotional self. In this way, the woman often carried a man’s own feminine and he carried her own masculine.
With this leap in consciousness, everything is changing. New consciousness is asking us to own our disowned parts and to start forming conscious partnerships that are based on nothing more than a desire to share and experience with another person (or many people). When we own our un-integrated aspects, we become whole and no longer need another person to carry disowned parts for us. Once this happens, we usually desire a different kind of partnership that is based on love, respect, playfulness, and a mutual desire to enjoy life. There is little, if any, drama as both partners take responsibility for their own experience. Initially, we may not feel the dramatic “pull” to new partners that was characteristic of being drawn to somebody out of karma. Instead, we feel a curiosity or a deep “yes” when meeting a possible new partner.
There are no more rules. Partnership has been traditionally accepted as a marriage between a heterosexual man and heterosexual woman who commit to being monogamous for life. In the new energy, this becomes just one type of partnership. When we own all parts of ourselves, we no longer feel a need to prescribe to social norms just because we are told to do so. New energy partnerships may be heterosexual, homosexual, and everything in between. They may be monogamous, or open. They may not even be between two people but rather groups of people as is characteristic of polyamory. It is possible that a new energy relationship does not involve another person whatsoever but rather the deep relationship with Self. There are no rules whatsoever in the new energy. What matters is that both (or all) partners are fully conscious of what they are entering into. Honesty and transparency become essential ingredients in new energy relationships. In addition, both or all partners have to take responsibility for what they need and make it known. This takes a tremendous amount of self-awareness as we are usually not aware of what we need until we are not getting it.
New energy relationships begin when we are so in love with ourselves that we no longer need another to make us feel complete. At this point, we are self-sustaining bundles of joy and love and we can enter into partnership not based on wounding, but rather expansion of joy. New energy partnerships are characterized by a feeling of freedom, openness, joy, love, and companionship. They are not heavy or draining, but rather uplifting and light.
Getting to a place of being so complete that you can enter into a new energy relationship isn’t necessarily easy, but the rewards are worth it. It often demands a great deal of self-work as you face your own demons, aspects, and beliefs that you need someone outside of you to feel complete. This work is not for the faint of heart but rather brave of heart. Only once we are in love with ALL that we are can we join with another in a way that truly celebrates love.