You’ve Been Set Up to Succeed – Just Keep Going

The tiny elm seed
The tiny elm seed

We are designed much like the little elm seed. We come down here with everything we need already inside of us. We have “divine seed packets” deep embedded inside of us with all that we will ever need to grow into our full self. Encoded in our divine seed packets are the tools, people, awarenesses, and events we will need to fulfill our particular soul mission.

Every single thing we need for our growth, evolution, success, and fulfillment was set up before we were even born.

If we only knew this, we would worry a lot less. So much of our time is spent worrying about if we will have what we need – will we have enough money, the right relationships, great opportunities, a place to live, etc.? If we knew the truth, which is that whatever we needed would find us at the exact minute we needed it, we would worry less.

It may not seem like all our needs are being met if we are sick, or lonely, or struggling to find work. However, part of what is encoded in that divine seed packet is what we need to learn. Those times that are challenging are our greatest teachers. They are set up to help us strengthen, deepen, and reach for a greater love and trust in ourselves. They are all part of our own divine seed packet.

In that seed packet, we also have the gifts we will need to get through life. The events, openings, opportunities, and people we need to fulfill our unique destinies are already set up.

What you need, will come. It may take longer than our basic selves would like, but it does come. Your job is to keep moving through your life making sure you have food, water, fun, and maybe some sunlight. Your task is to just keep walking, one foot in front of the other, and allow everything you need to fall into place.

Your job is to just keep going, and to allow what you need to find you.

You’ve been set up to succeed. Embedded deep inside of you truly is everything you will ever need. The events, opportunities, and people you need to do what you are here to do will come. Everything you need will be taken care of. Just keep walking.

 

When Everything Fails You, Follow the Loving

There are times in life when we all feel a little (or a lot) lost. The loss of a relationship, or job, a loved one, or our health can all leave us feeling disoriented and alone. In times like these, our self-esteem may take a beating. We may feel broken down, disheartened, and unsure which direction to turn.

If you find yourself feeling lost, confused, and unsure which path to take next in your life, it’s ok. There is a very simple answer. Choose the path that is the most loving. Follow the people, places, and experiences that bring the most loving into your life.

When we are in a place ofLet Yourself Be CArried BY love.-2 feeling hurt and in pain, what we need most is to be loved – to be nurtured, cared for, and held by people and places that are safe.

During hard times, turn away from what doesn’t love you and towards that which does. If a friendship is ending, grieve the loss, feel the love, and let yourself be held by the people in your life who are currently able to offer their loving. If a relationship is ending, let the love remain, and turn towards the loving offered by friends, family, mentors, and teachers. If a job is ending, search for the job where you are wanted, appreciated, and valued. If your health is waning, allow yourself to be nurtured and taken care of by those close to you. If you feel all alone with no one to turn to, allow yourself to be loved by you. There is always loving available, even if its your own.

It is natural to grieve loss, we are meant to grieve that which we once had and have no longer. And when it is time to make decisions about what is next, point your energy in the direction of the most loving. Ask yourself, “With whom do I feel the most loved and cared about?” Nurture that relationship and allow yourself to be nurtured by it. “Where do I feel the most safety and love? Where does my heart expand?” Give yourself time there. “What activities bring me the most joy and connect me into my loving?” Participate in those activities.

We don’t have to constantly focus on the loving that we don’t have. We can focus on all the people and places that do love us. Loving is bountiful. It can never be truly taken away or destroyed. And, when faced with one of those times when you feel broken down and alone, orient yourself to the rays of sunshine in your life, and let them love you and warm you up. Let yourself be loved. And remember that no matter what, you are always there to love you, and always will be. You always have yourself. Give yourself the loving, nurturing, and care that your heart longs for. There is always loving available, always.

Life doesn’t have to be full of suffering and pain. Allow in the loving that is all around you and wants to make its way into your heart. You don’t have to do this alone. You have people and places around you longing to love you. You have you, longing to love you. Let it in.

Let yourself be carried by love.

The Evolution of Compassion – How to Stop Trying to Save the World

“Strong boundaries are essential to loving and generosity.” – Brené Brown

 I’ve been thinking quite a bit about boundaries and compassion lately. As a watery empathic Pisces, boundaries have been something I’ve struggled with my whole life. It is easier to feel other people’s pain and merge with it than it is to separate myself and figure out my own needs and wants. Compassion has been easy, boundaries have not been. Thankfully, my professional and personal life have forced me into continuously working on my boundaries. What I have come to understand, is that boundaries are an essential aspect of compassion, generosity, and loving.

I see now that compassion is always evolving. Many spiritual traditions say that service and compassion are the highest virtues. I don’t quite agree. I have found that serving from inspiration is very different than serving from a place of self-sacrifice or a belief that we have to give ourselves up to get to God.

IMG_3138Right now, I think how we do compassion is evolving. As humans, I think we are here to move from self-centeredness to compassion and then to what I call, “compassionate wisdom.” With compassionate wisdom, we are able to really know and feel that everyone is ok just as they are and that there is a higher loving moving through all people and the universe at large. With compassionate wisdom, we begin to see that we aren’t responsible for making the planet ok. We move from needing to save people, take on their burdens, and over-sympathize to realizing that everything is ok, exactly as it is. We may still be inspired to serve, but we do so in a way that feels aligned and energizing, instead of depleting and forced.

Below, is my take on how compassion has evolved in each of us through our soul’s history.

Stage 1: The Young Soul

We come into the world being totally self-centered, young souls, here to explore and taste and learn. In the process, we end up being a bit self-centered. We don’t really know what compassion is. We are still learning about love and what it feels like. Our thoughts and actions are primarily based on our own needs and wants. We jump without thinking. We’re impulsive and ready to experience anything. Through time, and many lifetimes, we start to learn that our actions have an effect on the world around us. We see that our choices have consequences. We start to see that some of our impulsive actions bring pain and suffering to other people. This is when we start to move into the second state.

Stage 2: Waking up to Compassion

As we move into the next stage of evolution, we start to develop this thing called “compassion.” We start noticing how other people feel. We’ve been through enough experiences at this point to know what pain and suffering feel like and that other people must also experience pain. We move from being totally self-centered, to developing compassion for other people and beings. At this point in the journey, compassion meditations, and actively seeking how to learn how to have compassion for others is paramount. We develop our “compassion” muscle and move away from self-centeredness towards seeing we are all connected. For the first time, we begin to see the “other.”

Stage 3: Waking Up to Self-Compassion

In the third stage of evolution, we move from having compassion for other people and beings, to compassion for ourselves. We start to see that we deserve the compassion that we are giving other people. This begins to wake up self-love.

Stage 4: Developing Compassionate Wisdom

In the fourth stage of compassion, we move into compassion coupled with wisdom. We start to realize that yes, we can have compassion for other beings and ourselves but that we also need the important values of discernment and boundaries to go along with that compassion. Old souls have a tendency to get stuck in Stage 2 of compassion. They can see exactly why other people are acting like they are acting, and accept their poor behavior. They may choose relationships in which they unconsciously want to save another, because they can see and have compassion for that person’s wounds and struggles. The task of Stage 4, is to simultaneously have compassion for another individual, while loving yourself so much, that you hold boundaries. It is about loving another, but loving yourself and your right to life, love, and happiness more than you love anyone or anything else.

Stage 4 is about letting go of saving people and fully entering into your own space of self-love. In this stage, we can see other people’s struggles, wounding, and gifts. We offer our loving and service to them when we feel called to, but we stop sacrificing our own needs and well-being to help them along their path. We stop trying to save people and save the world. This is the task of the Old Soul: Loving yourself so much, that you are ready to release yourself from the role of “savior.” This is the highest state of compassion on the planet so far. In this stage, we develop a compassion so deep, that we let people have their struggles and stop trying to save them. We see that sometimes, people need their struggles and it is not in their best interest to have us go in and save the day.

Compassion becomes so total, that we love and accept all things exactly as they are, knowing that each one of us is completely and totally worthy and lovable exactly as we are now. This is compassionate wisdom.

Questions to Develop Compassionate Wisdom

Can you trust that the planet is ok, exactly as it is?

Can you trust that a higher loving is guiding us through everything?

Can you trust that even when things look dark, that sometimes the darkness is what delivers us into the light?

Can you trust other people to the wisdom of their soul?

Can you let go of saving the planet and drop into your loving instead?

Safety Isn’t What You Think It Is

IMG_1299.JPG“Safety is knowing that whatever comes is for your highest good.” – Karey Thorne

This was a quote from one of my spiritual teachers this past weekend during a workshop I attended. It perfectly captures what I have been increasingly feeling the past couple of months. Whatever is currently happening in your life, whether good or bad, is ultimately for your highest good.

Safety isn’t what we think it is. We think safety is a relationship, or perfect health, or the right job, enough money in our bank accounts, and an environment devoid of violence. And while I wish for all of those things for both myself and for you, I am realizing there is a deeper kind of safety, a more permanent safety that comes from our connection to Soul.

When we base our sense of safety on an external source, whether it be other people or things, we are constantly living in a state of fear. Relationships and jobs can always end. People can always leave. Money can come and go. When we need external things to feel secure, we have to constantly try and make sure those things are always present. We want the relationship to continue, the job to stay the same, and our bank accounts to reflect a certain number. And there is nothing wrong with that desire. We only run into trouble when we need our external environment to go unchanged so we can feel ok.

The reality of this world, and of our Souls, is that we are constantly changing. Change is the one guarantee in life. Sometimes change feels great, sometimes not so great.

I have just emerged from a five year period of incredible change. I’ve moved eight times, had many relationships, saw many relationships end, had many job changes, had health challenges, nearly lost a parent, and saw several people close to me pass away. It has been a very challenging five years. But what I have found, is that the more my external environment has been shaken and rocked, the more I have been forced to find safety inside. When my external environment has let me down or disappointed me, I have been forced to move into a sense of stability based on myself and my trust in my life. Luckily (though not always pleasantly), I have had to let go of trying to control what was happening in my life.

I’ve had to move from fear about the future, to relishing what is happening in this moment, right now. I can now feel a sense of safety in my body that is independent of my circumstances. I am now clearly aware that whatever comes is going to be good for me. It may not feel good at the time, but in the end, I am a better, stronger, and ultimately, happier person as a result of both the gifts and challenges life brings. These past five years have shown me that as long as you use your life to uplift yourself, life will always be good. You will always come out on top – wiser, happier, and more stable inside.

As life goes on, we have a choice. We can build on that sense of internal safety, or to try and control our lives more and more. Many of us have learned that as we try and control more, life just keeps shaking us until we eventually surrender. And I will tell you, when we do eventually give in and surrender to where life wants to take us, it feels so damn good. When we learn to ride the surfboard instead of control the waves, we get to actually have some fun.